Of happiness and hope

I recently returned from a Christmas trip to Macedonia, and, as always, experienced the beauty of family and friendships, the warm and hospitality of Macedonians, the superb food and drink that is Macedonian, and even got in a few hikes up Vodno.  It was, as always, a good time of soul refreshment, and too much eating and drinking.  And, as always, my visit was far too short.

There is, however, one thing I encountered on this trip that I seemingly encounter on all of trips to Macedonia: both the frustration and anger with the Macedonian government, the international factor (primarily the US State Department), corrupt businessmen, among others, the lack of a positive direction in the country, and more. And I get it, truly I do:  there is much to be angry about. I’m angry about it too, and I’m not Macedonian nor do I live in Macedonia (yet).

But, and on a personal level, let me submit to you that you can hold righteous anger (defined as anger at injustice and incompetence) at these individuals, institutions, and injustices, and yet still be happy and content in your personal lives.  I have learned how to do this, but it has taken me a very long time.  Now let me share with you how you can do so, while hopefully learning more quickly than I have learned.

American national radio host, author and observant Orthodox Jew, Dennis Prager, writes this in his excellent book on happiness that the “most important source of happiness is gratitude” and that “Yes, there is a ‘secret to happiness’ – and it is gratitude.  All happy people are grateful, and ungrateful people cannot be happy.  We tend to think that it is being unhappy that leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that it is complaining that leads to people becoming unhappy.  Become grateful and you will become a much happier person.”

Prager writes about something that many – in any culture – are uncomfortable discussing, and he writes “Happiness can be attained under virtually any circumstances providing you believe that your life has meaning and purpose….People derive meaning from two beliefs – the belief that their life has meaning and the belief that life itself has meaning. Both beliefs – in personal meaning and in transcendent meaning – are necessary for happiness.  There are people who have neither belief, people who have both beliefs, and increasingly there are people who have only one of these beliefs – that their own lives have meaning, while life itself it ultimately meaningless.  Among the latter are many secular intellectuals who see human life as a random, undirected coincidence (essentially for the sake of their sanity) yet continue to regard their personal lives as meaningful. On purely logical grounds, I do not see how a meaningless universe can produce meaningful lives, but I well understand why most people who believe in a meaningless universe do not wish to view their own lives in this way.”

He continues noting that “A purely secular understanding of existence can only mean that the world ultimately has neither purpose nor meaning….As much as we may find our work, family, friends, and social causes a source of meaning, a secular universe means that there is no ultimate meaning to any of these things. We have made up all these meanings in order not to despair. It is quite difficult to be happy if we stare into the mirror each morning and see only the random product of meaningless forces, stellar dust that happens to be self-aware.”  That’s a pretty sobering view on the universe and life in it.  But for those who believe that life itself – and their life – has meaning, it makes exquisite sense. And believing that there is meaning, in our own individual lives and to life itself, should make one grateful.

This leads me to the issue of optimism and hope.

American scholar and author Yuval Levin writes “So I always insist on this difference between hope and optimism, which I come to by way of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, though I think it’s older and deeper than that. Hope is to believe in the possibility of positive change. Hope is a demanding virtue. It’s hard, it takes some courage, it takes energy, it takes a lot of action. To be optimistic is just to think that things are going to go well. And I think that’s silly.”

American author and scholar Arthur Brooks writes that “There’s a word for believing you can make things better without distorting reality: not optimism, but hope. In other words, optimism is the belief that things will turn out all right; hope makes no such assumption but is a conviction that one can act to make things better in some way.”  Brooks continues writing that “Hope involves personal agency,” and that “most philosophical and religious traditions regard it as an active choice, and even a commandment. Indeed, it is a theological virtue in Christianity: It implies voluntary action, not just happy prediction.”

Let me leave you with a quick summary here, which, when things seem to be very bad in life, I trust you will remember:

-The most important source of happiness is gratitude and everyone has something to be grateful for whether you have little or much in life.

-All happy people are grateful, and ungrateful people cannot be happy. 

-We tend to think that it is being unhappy that leads people to complain, but it is truer to say that it is complaining that leads to people becoming unhappy.  Become grateful and you will become a much happier person.

-Happiness can be attained under virtually any circumstances providing you believe that your life has meaning and purpose.

-Hope is a demanding virtue. It’s hard, it takes some courage, it takes energy, it takes a lot of action.

-Hope involves personal agency and most philosophical and religious traditions regard it as an active choice, and even a commandment. Indeed, it is a theological virtue in Christianity: It implies voluntary action, not just happy prediction.

It’s worth remembering and repeating these things!